(Reuters) - The legal industry is awash in rankings and awards, a seemingly endless flood of accolades proclaiming law firms and their lawyers are the best this and most fearsome that.

The winners wallow in the praise, the losers sulk, and the beleaguered law firm marketing and PR folks dream of quitting their jobs and moving to a tropical island, where they'll never fill out another nomination form again.

As for the ostensible audience, the in-house counsel who might actually make use of the rankings – which include lists by Chambers, BCG Search, The American Lawyer, U.S. News & World Report, Lawdragon, Vault, LeadersLeague, Legal 500, Best Lawyers, Super Lawyers (published by Thomson Reuters) and Law360, to name just a few – they could care less.

Or at least that's what those I talked to told me.

"I've been a general counsel for six years, and I've never looked at a list to find out who is the best," said Richard Medway, the top lawyer at Savers Inc, a $1.2 billion retailer with more than 330 stores and operations in the U.S., Canada and Australia.

Awards and rankings "are not really relevant" to his decision-making process when hiring outside counsel, Medway said. Instead, he's swayed by on-point experience and a track record of successful results.

So, um, would a legal industry award ever convince him to hire a lawyer or firm?

"No," he said unequivocally.

If anything, Medway added, he would "kind of look askance" at firm lawyers who bragged excessively about their accolades. "I'd figure they had huge egos and are over-priced."

Likewise, Microsoft Corp general counsel Dev Stahlkopf in an email said, "We select law firm partners based on criteria like substantive expertise, diversity, and innovation. There's no downside to winning awards, but it's not a significant factor in our decision-making process."

Andy Mullin, chief counsel at aerospace and defense technology company BAE Systems' Electronic Systems sector told me that he too is generally unimpressed by awards or rankings – especially the ones that he knows are pay-to-play.

He tends to hire firms that he's worked with before, looking at their prior outcomes, efficiency and ability to field diverse and inclusive teams.

"When firms I do business with get recognized, I say 'Oh, that's nice,'" Mullin said. But it has no bearing on his decision to retain them going forward.

Even on the occasions when he's in need of a new set of lawyers, he said, "I wouldn't look at awards. I'd tap my network and ask colleagues."

All of which leaves me with this question: Who are the awards really for then?

Because nowadays, there are a ridiculous number of them. (I, myself, in a previous job on occasion had to help pick award winners and write stories showcasing them.) One groaning Big Law PR person told me her firm submitted 400 nominations last year, each one requiring different criteria and a customized pitch. Another told me that her firm sent off even more.

It strikes me that this cottage industry of awards and rankings is fueled by law firm lawyers and legal publishers, neck-deep in what science would term a mutualistic relationship. Think bees and flowers. Or cows and the rumen bacteria that live in their digestive tracts. You can decide who's who.

In my experience, lawyers (especially Big Law partners) tend to be competitive people with, shall we say, healthy-sized egos. They've gone through life getting gold stars and As on exams, and they love the validation that comes from the awards.

As for the publishers, the rankings tend to be well-read by the aforementioned lawyers. Plus, they can sell reprint rights, congratulatory ads and tables at awards dinners.

Publishers do differentiate their awards, which vary based on focus and methodology. Super Lawyers publisher Cindy Larson, for example, touts the ratings' "patented multiphase selection process, established nearly 20 years ago."

"Attorney rating services may not change the world, but if someone is in need of legal counsel, they can be an invaluable resource to help with a legal matter that has taken over their world," she said in a written statement.

Likewise, Vault senior law editor Mary Kate Sheridan in an email wrote that her company's offerings "allow law students and laterals to tailor their law firm research according to industry prestige, quality of life, and commitment to diversity. More than 20,000 law firm associates participated in Vault's most recent Annual Associate Survey."

Still, surely at a certain point enough is enough. How many lists does the world need of, say, leading antitrust lawyers? It starts to get embarrassing.

(Other companies that publish lawyer awards and rankings – Chambers, Best Lawyers and ALM – did not respond to messages seeking comment.)

I have no problem with recognizing lawyers for doing good work. I do it all the time in this column. I just wish some of the energy spent compiling redundant awards and rankings might be redirected to meet an actual public need.

Plenty of people could in fact use assistance hiring lawyers. They're just not the one being served by these rankings.

A few years ago, I had an eye-opening experience. My husband and I needed a lawyer to represent us in a real estate dispute –a small-potatoes fight but a big deal to us.

I thought it would be a snap. I'm a legal journalist, after all.

Instead, it was a bewildering, frustrating experience. There were virtually no resources to help us find a local practitioner with a decent track record and relevant experience. (And I'm sorry to report that the lawyer we hired turned out to be a dud.)

It's not just us. When individual, non-millionaire clients need a lawyer for a divorce or a DUI or estate planning (or, ahem, to go after an unscrupulous seller who failed to disclose negative information about a house), they're mostly on their own.

At the same time, would-be corporate clients who neither want nor need assistance are presented with a surfeit of rankings and best-of awards, which they basically ignore.

If only I was looking for an attorney to secure approval of my billion-dollar merger, I'd know exactly who to call. But in the real world of regular people who don't buy tables at awards dinners, we're still on our own.

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